lunes, 21 febrero, 2011
10A
Each day I’ve been filling up with a piece of Ecclesiastes & a Breaking Free verse or whatever New Testament book/verse I want to have in my mind that day. Today was in Ecclesiastes 8; and I have to be honest here, Ecclesiastes in NASB has been a bit difficult- his words seems so oddly arranged at times that they hardly make sense- which, of course, makes it easy to casually skip over those words/sentences/verses/sections. All too often I hear my thoughts stating that “‘this’(verse/section) doesn’t apply to me right now,”… that can be challenging to tackle. So whenever I hear my thoughts showing that type of mindset, I try to make sure I spend good time in those words, make sure those thoughts are taken captive to Christ.. These words really make me think, about why we do what we do, what it’s all really worth. And it's making me question why I do what I do, what my motives are and what I really care about—not just what I want to care about or wish I cared about—but truly, what is at the bottom of my joy today? That question keeps lingering in my mind, it’s been there quite some time. Few months; yet the answer I have yet to be certain of. I know what I desire it to be, what would be best.. yet I won’t let that lead me on, for my goal is not to achieve any particular status or state of heart or mind, for that would be of my own achievements. The heart that I seek already exists, it needs not to be created but revealed. Accessed. Yielded to. This heart is hidden, hidden with Him whom I seek to know more than anything in my life, Him whom I yearn to love more than anything in my life.
Spending time in His words has had the biggest impact on my mind, going from ‘I have to do x,y,z today but I didn’t finish a,b,c yesterday so I’m going to fail. Yay me,” to, ‘forget tasks, today You’re here, the Lord is near, let’s do this-I gotta know You, they gotta know You'.’
[16] When I gave my heart to know wisdom and to see the task which has been done on the earth (even though one should never sleep day or night), [17] and I saw every work of God, I concluded that man cannot discover the work which has been done under the sun. Even though man should seek laboriously, he will not discover; and though the wise man should say,”I know,” he cannot discover. (Ecclesiastes 8:16-17 NASB)
[16] When I applied my heart to know wisdom, and to see the business that is done on earth, how neither day nor night do one's eyes see sleep, [17] then I saw all the work of God, that man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun. However much man may toil in seeking, he will not find it out. Even though a wise man claims to know, he cannot find it out.
(Ecclesiastes 8:16-17 ESV)
[16-17] When I determined to load up on wisdom and examine everything taking place on earth, I realized that if you keep your eyes open day and night without even blinking, you’ll still never figure out the meaning of what God is doing on this earth. Search as hard as you like, you’re not going to make sense of it. No matter how smart your are, you won’t get to the bottom of it. (Ecclesiastes 8:16-17 The Message)
Quite the difference there is between the NASB version and the Message version… either way, conviction for me—I like to know what’s going on, what things mean and all else there is to understand. That’s hard for me,,
Another conviction today; seeking my own.
1P
I’ve had quite the difficulty with discipline, getting down to it and focusing… haven’t gotten any homework accomplished yet; now’s the moment where I start.
8:37P
It feels so difficult, like i’m pushing against the rest of my being. homework, it’s just homework. why is it so hard to make myself focus?
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