Recreating the Dress...

The Concept Dress from Anthropologie

$24.80 on forever21.com

$44.99 on ModCloth.com

$30.99 on ModCloth.com

Be on the look out for lace that we could use to recreate this dress!

I'm thinking we could buy dresses of the solid color I want then add the lace details at home. I put that B&W dress up there because I thought maybe that dress would work with simple green lace over it.  

Today we talked bridal party attire.

Groomsmen | dark grey pants, suspenders, lavender shirt, bow tie, hipster boots. 

pants $39.95 from H&M

Bridesmaids | evergreen dress, some sort of flats, 

dress $149.95 from Anthropologie

(I'm still looking around to find a less expensive version of this, but this is the idea)

Anna | dark grey pants, suspenders, evergreen shirt, evergreen tie, hipster boots?

About the Aisle...

Also! Instead of having arches all the way down the aisle, we were thinking we could have them standing straight up, then as you go down the aisle they would curve in until you reach the alter and they make a full arch... We could do that with either wires in the twigs or maybe fishing line?

i have learned that communicating my needs does not make me needy.
having emotional needs does not make me needy.
wanting my man to learn how to care for my emotional needs is not needy.
feeling let down when my emotional needs are slashed, does not make me a needy, irrational, hormonal girl who can't be trusted.

my emotions add to the complex beauty that is me.

an honest prayer

i guess i've been feeling sad, granted i'm having trouble eating the food i need to eat, and i'm currently dealing with physical discomfort... Jesus, i feel sad.. i know You must know how it feels.. so, hold my hand? help me through? keep me singing in my heart to You?

expressing affection...

I used to write you letters, make you gifts and write you poems

I used to make collages, scrapbook photos and tickets, memoirs of our dates

these were ways I expressed to you how lovely, loved and cherished I felt

Letters to My Fiancé

11/12/13

I miss cuddling you already, but our diligence will be blessed.

I miss welcoming sleep from within your arms, but obedience will sow seeds of a fuller life. 

I missed your presence all day long, but The Lord is my companion, my hiding place, my strong tower. 

I longed to share each moment with you, but His Spirit still enables us to share the most beautiful realizations. 

I yearn to be with you, but my God will make all things work out for the best of His Kingdom and Children - my sight is limited, He sees when we best be united for life, love and joy in abundance. 

ponderings

there's this ring on my finger.
it's lovely and shiny.
-----
the greyness outside, all about
may be a point for depressed mood
or an opportunity for me to insert my own color and Light to the day

who makes my days meaningful,
who determines what does or doesn't make my days meaningful?
is it what i do? how i feel?

am i to set a time and space and mindset and determine to grab hold of the meaning of each day... i think i do...

i used to live my days like a story line...
there was this story i had in my mind, in my heart, and each step i took wrote the next line of said story...

if living in New York, i'll want to have an imagined, thought up storyline that i can use to navigate my days. hmm, thank you Lord for imagination! for creativity!


-----
Lisa encouraged me to use these days, this time - as i am still single - to come to You emotionally, to allow You to care for my emotions and learn to allow You to be my emotional stability.

this is a call, I, too, have sensed. with emotions. with spiritual disciplines.



(typed to my fiancé, 11/12/13) "sometimes i wonder what i used to do before we were together, how i used to stay happy (or make myself optimistic) when i was going thru my days all by myself, or when i was in-between things or had a lot of unexpected free time… i can forget what it was like to be self-sustaining and responsible.. 'cause you took much better care of me than i knew was possible, you filled needs that i didn't realize i had… so it's easy to lean on that for the filling rather than appreciating it for the overflow..

'cause before you, i had just found what it was to walk thru my days in a sort of ongoing, fluid motion that kept my emotions stable and ready for prayer… and He challenged me with greater privileges to balance… and I have been learning nonstop about Him and ways i thought of Him wrongly and then experientially been taught of His character and how different He is than I was thinking… and that is absolutely invaluable!!!

i also realize.. though I am not totally dependent on you for stability, that being one of your gifts, i often without realizing, opt to lean toward you for those signals and can lean to you to see my grounding.. thank God your grounding is in Him cause then I'm just pointed to Him! but ultimately, i desire my first wanting gaze to glance upon Him and seek Him for my filling… so i'm just pondering these things…"

by my side...

when i'm fighting a battle, he joins and makes it two on one.
keeps us unified, moving in the same direction, and he doesn't leave me behind to fight on my own as he just walks on.

oh to grieve with the Spirit grieve with him here, here to fight on my behalf,

with you i'm allowed to grapple. about anything.

incomplete thoughts...

i forget how terribly i need to create. create sentences from thoughts. poems from emotions. movement from sensation. create moments. of laughter of questions of seeking of following curiosity of doing the very last thing i would do...

the very last thing i would do right now... go eat a bowl of cereal, call mamaw, chat with mckenna, charge my computer, organize my closet for a few minutes, print my homework, ask evan how he's studying for 220, pull out my Bible and write 1 Thes 4 out to memorize it, lay on the floor visualizing how i will proceed/how the rest of the night will go...

huh, that's a practice i haven't done much of at all lately. positive visualization, imagining and running through real life situations (upcoming) in my head and imagine them going as positive as possible or at least how i may walk through them in a positive manner.

when i allow myself to stay in my head, or even in one subject for too long, i seem to let go of whatever that thing is that typically fuels my interest, ambition, curiosity, energy, mental sunshine...  it's like a part of me dies, or at leasts slips into a coma, it's like if i squint my eyes i can faintly see it trapped behind a sheet of dark slate

Retired Bridge/River Greenway | 10 Oct 2013| Muncie, IN

Experimenting with Aperture | 21 Oct 2013 | Cedarville University, Cedarville, OH

Luke 16:10 Aspire great things? Be faithful to excel in the small things.

16:10 “The one who is faithful in a very little ³⁴  is also faithful in much, and the one who isdishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much. 

³⁴ sn The point of the statement faithful in a very little is that character is shown in how little things are treated.

"faithful" (3982)
1) trusty, faithful 1a) of persons who show themselves faithful in the transaction of business, the execution of commands, or the discharge of official duties 1b) one who kept his plighted faith, worthy of trust 1c) that can be relied on 2) easily persuaded 2a) believing, confiding, trusting 2b) in the NT one who trusts in God's promises 2b1) one who is convinced that Jesus has been raised from the dead 2b2) one who has become convinced that Jesus is the Messiah and author of salvation


"dishonest" (1 as a negative particle and 1349)
1) descriptive of one who violates or has violated justice 1a) unjust 1b) unrighteous, sinful 1c) of one who deals fraudulently with others, deceitful

---

from 1 (as a negative particle) and 1349; unjust; by extension wicked; by implication, treacherous; specially, heathen:-unjust, unrighteous. see GREEK for 1 see GREEK for 1349


16:11 If then you haven’t beentrustworthy ³⁵  in handling worldly wealth, ³⁶  who will entrust you with the true riches? ³⁷ 16:12 And if you haven’t been trustworthy ³⁸  with someone else’s property, ³⁹  who will give you your own ⁴⁰ ? 16:13 No servant can serve two masters, for either he will hate ⁴¹ the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise ⁴²  the other. You cannot serve God and money.” ⁴³ 

monday: day of processing, and projecting plans

so many matters we spoke about this weekend... 

- pitfalls to watch for
- habits to keep up
- practices to make sure we set in place
- receiving my father's blessing
- trusting you to handle all timing, set up and wonderfulness of proposal (basically facing the fact that i am not all-knowing, and that is a very good thing)
- Huntington barn
- seeing sin as the monster/puke (proverbs 26:11) that it is 
- where we each are (esp. emotionally) w/ the season (roller coaster; from 'YAY!' to 'ah holy crap!')
- ought to finish up 101 Qs
- actively (keep) claiming promises of God
- advice from Mama Paff: when marry, make him a list of what I want on which holidays (i.e. calla lily on valentines day, note on mother's day, post-its around the house w/ cute remarks/memories or flowers and sweet note sent to me at work or left on table for anniversary, etc.)

I need to know, I won't be entirely giving up my pursuit as a student, b/c I love it - I need to know, there is a great alternative for me to look forward to. 

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Note to You

Oh, dearie. In all these conversations (important conversations), let us not forget to continue dating and simply enjoying a good time together. I know my tendency will be to talk only about the thoughts swirling my mind that include you, me, our future, engagement, wedding planning, finding me a school, and all things Endicott. 

As you are so great at pulling me back into the moment, please do, pull me back into this place where I am currently residing. Ball State, sophomore year, involved in House Church, spending development time with various people (Alison, Brittanie, McKenna, Megan, Ciara, Shannon, Lisa and Ryan)... ask me about things of the week, as I'll sure seek to learn about yours. 

I want us both to enjoy this time with all its richness... that surely includes us walking with the people we currently live with, sharing our journey with them and allowing our current circumstances to be a part of our individual journeys.  

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Realizations for Future Benefit

- some flexibility w/i structure

   -> allowing myself to roll out of bed late, b/c I have worked out when in my schedule I can make up for that time, allowing myself to go by the feel of things to some extent such as whether or not I stop for coffee before I go to my place of study or whether I can stay and chat for a bit before I move on

- need Sunday (or Monday) to be for reflection, reseat, and layout of the week ahead of me (what must be done, what I'd like to do, how my schedule needs adjusted to make that happen, schedule lunch dates for the week, etc.)

- time outdoors = necessity, healthy, sets me up for better, calmer, more cheerful and productive day (and mind)

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This Week

- logistical steps to ease internal and relational tension

- keep clearing off that which may weigh me down

1. compile 2 potential programs of study and email them to Papa Paff

2. find Huntington wedding barn, ask him to set up a visit for us

3. share what you're processing and pray for each other, with each other

4. finish up 101 Q's

concluding thoughts as i lay to rest

My Dear, 
   Can you believe how far we've come! What a journey we are on. And i know we have quite the journey ahead of us, but I am only becoming more sure of our love. All this thanks to His great love. Oh how He washes over us. How He sets Himself the wind to our sails. He says love conquers all. Though I know little of this mighty love, I am certain that in learning to love you every day, He will teach me of this great love. I am sure learning to walk with you each day will lead me further in toward ongoing communion with Him. -- and what better is there in life than experiencing the Living God on a daily basis?
   Though gravity, weight, and breadth of unknowns may frighten me - none will compare to the depth, width, length, breadth, or vastness of the Great Love I am sure to further experience. 

Lord, I am certain, if nothing else, You will have Your way with my heart. Your way will be edifying, sanctifying, glorifying to Your Name. And besides that, I am to walk on, eyes on You, my Great High Priest, Lover of my soul. be near. my soul clings to You, Your right hand upholds me. 

weekend blessings..

had a few really sweet moments this past weekend.

sitting at Starbucks, we were studying and an older married couple joined us at the table. they struck up a conversation and we explained how I went to BSU, he was just here to see me. they asked how long we had been together and they seemed so happy for us. they gave us a couple tidbits of advice, 1. never stop holding hands 2. communication is key. funny thing, John David and I had just been talking about how so many couples give the advice to keep holding hands and making that physical connection. so that was a neat triple affirmation. then, when we went to leave, the husband slid a gift card envelope across the table and said, "just put it in a pocket, and only use it when you're together." then something along the lines of 'we wish you only the best. keep up the good work'

later that night, we were walking to the Village and an old lady asked for help from her car. she needed help turning her lights on. so we went over and figured out how to turn her lights on for her. she was very grateful.

then, we walked around, dance outside the Be Here Now fence, then walked back to campus, played music on our phones and danced around the sidewalk.

Sunday, we went to the Revo, then we spent the rest of our day with Cameron and Kristina. they really seemed to have a great time, as did we. i was so glad to have finally connected with them and was so happy to just hang out with them and do something fun all together.

Real Life Thoughts of Wednesday.

I had many thoughts swirling about my mind, here is a raw (and really rough) display of me laying out the thoughts I was trying to make sense of...

Now, please realize that I do not claim any of these ideas or understandings to be right, logical or biblical. In all honesty, I recognize some of the thoughts to be in desperate need of Truth... that's part of why I wrote them out. I wanted to discover what it is I was really thinking, to then target what Truth I need to dive into in order to take those thoughts captive to Christ. Also, some are thoughts on how the Body is to be lived out in a community - that is another area that I am continuing to seek His ways through prayer and Scripture.

So there. Here's me, real vulnerable. Please be gentle with me.
'Cause, oh! to Grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be.

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Jesus went from people to people. He had His twelve. Then He went from group to group using His gifts to build up the Body.

is there something inherently wrong with my tendency of investing and building up, collecting a circle or team, then building into the next group?

full time ministry isn't for everyone... YES, we are all to be disciplers as well as discipled. but does that mean we must fit into today's image of find a church, invest all your time and ministry into that one sect of the Body, and move up the chain of leadership until you are in full time ministry?

i really don't think it does. granted, i do see building into the Body around me as very important, tho i still struggle to see the "Body" to be the actual church body that is near me... is that so wrong? I see the body as this intangible, widespread, collection of vessels of the Holy Spirit, not a specific group of people that go to a certain church every week...

granted, i do see the importance of how the Body needs each body part to be using its function to build up the Body, the literal physical church so that its ministry can continue and can flourish... just as our generation needs true saints to stand up for His Name and be ambassadors in order to reveal the falseness of false teachers...

i recognize in myself the tendency to bounce around, to invest in one place for a while, then to latch on to a new place and pour in to the people there... i get around when it comes to embracing and being a part of many different groups of people... along the way i keep a few who enter my circle or at least i keep pouring into and encouraging... but besides my inner circle, people come and people grow, and people move forward...

i've discovered myself to be someone to try and ignite the potential i see in people... and there are some for whom i continually pour into and speak with and love on... then there are some that just walk right out of my days...

i don't recognize myself as an important part of the group... and they may not call me out and invite me to things because they get the vibe that i don't want to be there... them not inviting me then makes me feel as even more an outsider...

-----

so, ok. priorities.
schoolwork.
family. keeping in contact with my mom and chatting with my dad. family reunion


How has my time been spent these past few weeks?

Weekdays:
classes
schoolwork
lunch/chat time with Alison 2x week
chill/chat time with McKenna 2-5 hrs a week
10-11 AM MWF is quiet Scripture, journal, Celebration of Discipline time,
House church 7-10:30 PM
MWF lunch with Maddy, Nate, and random Revo ppl when our lunch times overlap

Weekends:
18th Revo
23-25th yearly tradition, bonfire with Cedarville friends. church at Xenia.
31-1st family reunion, then Revo.
6th-8th anniversary dinner, frisbee tournament with Cedarville friends, church at Xenia, picnic
13-15th this coming Friday is LT Reunion, Saturday with McKenna? then Sunday church and zoo with Cameron and Kristina and scheduling couples meetings.
20-22nd then the next weekend, Friday is cousin's play, then cousin's wedding,
27-29th next weekend is family weekend, seeing Ma & Pa?!

Where are my priorities?

academics
relationship with Christ
being there for the ladies around me
weekends, have been every other
- we're both trying to invest in the communities we're in

Talk with Megan................

wants to make sure i'm not focusing too much on the future and on the engagement that i neglect the process and individual growth that is still in-process...

focus on the process more: she noticed that I seem to cast a vision then run full fledge for that goal (which is absolutely characteristic of me), she wants to make sure that I take my time, walk through the process, be where I am, and am not consumed with thinking about the future.

has seen couples go thru things similar to us, granted she said they prob didn't have as strong a relationship and weren't as spiritually inclined, but she has seen them rush into marriage and then in the first few years realize they made things harder and then have a lot of pains... she said she wasn't as wary or thoughtful during their process and so basically wants to be a better friend and give perspective that she has learned...

it's about weighing the options, which better sets you up for success. (when i told her of our two possibilities, marry in a year or be separated for two years, she sounded empathetic and 'ohh between a rock and a hard place')

Megan also offered, how can she help? be thinking about that. she is the only friend that rather than just giving her two cents then hoping it goes well, she offered to step out of the kitchen, where you already have too many cooks, and to help you however you need help.

A Note to My Love on Our Anniversary

Happy Anniversary, my dearest friend and love of my life.

I have adored seeing how we each flourish as our love blossoms. I have always counted you a good friend, a wise counsel and a pleasure to be around. I have admired you for the respectful way you carry yourself and for the kindness with which you speak to others.

Now, I am privileged to experience a place of intimacy with you. A place where our worlds don't merely collide but rather collaborate and build each other up.

I'm not sure we realized how special a gift we'd been given. The uniqueness of this gift requires we guard the gift from any scheme of the enemy. For anything a force for our Good King is a threat to him, and a new target for his destructive ways.

Hallelujah our God is the King of writing redemption stories! And hallelujah! He calls us His chosen ones. He will lead us on, my love. He will led us Home. Take courage, He is leading us Home.

Journey on. 

...to be continued.

“My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.” – Albert Einstein

....what does this mean?

exactly what i needed..

"Doing countless unnecessary activities will dissipate your energy.
When you spend time with Me, I restore your sense of direction. As you look to Me for guidance, I enable you to do less but accomplish more." -Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

"Commit your works to the Lord, And your thoughts will be established." -Proverbs 16:3 NKJV

a prayer of vision

Heavenly Father, Great High Priest. Creator and Cultivator of Good, Lovely, Excellent, Honorable, designer of all that is worthwhile. In Your goodness You have lavished on us a grace that is greater than the command. Perfect Provider. All mighty Spirit, living, moving, breathing. Breathing life into me. Heighten, deepen, widen, strengthen, our desires for Your desires. Through the time and space that we call today, permeate our awareness, our conscious minds, our thoughts, perceptions, understandings, interactions and intentions. 

let us not see our earthly tasks as earthly but as channels through which we manifest our spiritual realities, that is the reality of Your Kingdom. the Kingdom here, now, the Kingdom that is to come, the ongoing and ever present story that permeates all realities, the grandness of the story that has been happening and that we are now a part of and will be a part of. make our minds, hearts, spirits to dwell in Your heavenly places as we walk this weary, demanding, luring land.  

{to be continued...}

James 4

Points that stuck out to me in the reading today... 

4:14The problem is what the merchant did not consider: his complete dependence on God (cf.Luke 12:18-20; John 15:5).
“To what extent is your life directed by the knowledge that Christ is coming back? Much of our thinking and behavior is shaped by what we can see of present circumstances or past events. Yet Scripture speaks forcefully of Christ’s return as a fact that should be directing how we live now. Christians are to be motivated by the certainty of this future event.”[193]

This reminds me of a theme this summer... living in the reality of the Kingdom. 

4:15The merchant should have made his planning in conscious dependence on God recognizing His sovereign control over all of life (cf. Acts 18:21; 1 Cor. 4:19; 16:7; Phil. 2:19, 24). The Latin phrase, deo volente (“God willing,” abbreviated D.V.) remains in use even today among some Christians.
“A study of the use of this conditional clause [“If the Lord wills . . .”] in the NT makes it clear that we are not to repeat it mechanically in connection with every statement of future plans. Paul, for example, employs it in Acts 18:21 and 1 Corinthians 4:19, but he does not use it in Acts 19:21; Romans 15:28; or 1 Corinthians 16:5, 8. Yet it is obvious that whether Paul explicitly stated it or not, he always conditioned his plans on the will of God.”[194]

It's not about saying the words - it's about acknowledging Him foremost and knowing (acting out of the certainty) that God is the One who will be sustaining me and making my future and I am to submit Him in all ways for I know that is what's best (and commanded) - if I choose not to, I am willingly walking in sin. 

The person James just pictured was guilty of a sin of omission. He failed to acknowledge the place God occupies in life (cf. John 9:41). In concluding this discussion of conflicts, James reminded his readers to put into practice what they knew. They should avoid presumption and self-confidence, and they should submit themselves humbly to God. Failure to do this is sin.
“They cannot take refuge in the plea that they have done nothing positively wrong; as Scripture makes abundantly clear, sins of omission are as real and serious as sins of commission.”[196]

1 John 1

^"5 This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. ⁶ If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; ⁷ but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. ⁸ If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. ⁹ If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. "

Thoughts:
to walk in the Light is to confess, restore, reconcile, walk in fellowship with one another, believing the reality of His forgiveness and cleansing power... it's not to BE perfect, but to WALK (set your steps in line with/toward, live out, look to and seek) in/toward/according to/by the power of the Light... 

meet my Mr. Wonderful.

All photos thanks to M. Renee Photography! 

Meet John David Paff. He's my bud, to say the least. While in VB we had a mini-session with a wonderful photographer and dear friend, Megan Didier. Megan was able to capture some of my favorite aspects of our relationship. 

...Laughter, smiles, childish goofiness, caring for each other, walking with each other, talking, building each other up, him looking at me with admiring eyes and making me feel like the most beautiful creature he has ever laid eyes on... 

Project Day #3

- - - 2 Hour quiet time, alone with Him. - - - 

sweet Jesus Christ my sanity
sweet Jesus Christ my clarity
bread of heaven broken for me
cup of salvation poured out for me
Jesus mystery
Christ has died and
Christ is risen
Christ will come again

Spirit living and active - moving as oft' and even stronger than the pulse of the sea this is the power that lives with me. hands open El Shaddai ready to provide, to hand me all I need all that's necessary all that's best for me today. may I stretch out my hand Savior, Healer, Good Shepherd give me ears to hear and a heart to receive Your Words, Your goodness, Your will...

Driftwood Diaries... told the story of Fireproof and Love Dare, then told of how it was even more a story of our relationship with You Christ, than between a man and a woman -- all the effort, diligence, service, acts of kindness I think I ought to be devoting to John David - I can also apply directly to You --- to see all aspects of my relationship with John David as visual aids and manifestations, teaching tools meant to teach me of You and us and our love, the love exclusively between You and me not just between us three...

here I am Lord to accept the challenge and meet with You here as I would with John David. I want to tell You all these things I see You doing I want to tell You my hopes and dreams. I want to let You calm me and give me breath and tell me how I'll always be Yours, belong to You and how You won't let anyone ever change that.

I want to hear You say You want me, I am necessary, beneficial, helper, beautiful that I am an asset to You and Your Body that I make Your heart happy and smile that You look at me with those loving eyes and are enthralled by my beauty... I want to hear that I bless You, that You are so glad I'm Yours. that You will protect me, that Your heart aches to hold me and be the cause, the source of my joy, my smile, my laughter, any comfort, or pleasure be the fount from which all my fountains flow. be the love of my life I can't go a day without speaking to or hearing from. be the love I seek to find my home and rest in.

I remember a time -- that summer I spent reading Captivating -- I remember falling in love with You just as I have come to loving John David. I felt You romancing me, meeting with me, whispering sweet things into my ear, - You would meet me each day in the thing I was going thru, predominately thinking about, feeling or doing. You would do, everyday life with me. I realize I speak as if You no longer do those things --- but You're still here, available and doing those things but just as I see in human marriage ---> as time moves on, we must find a new way to interact - we don't move backwards I don't stay the same -- our interactions change as we progress in the journey. You may still do similar things - but the way in which You meet me and what is required of me and entrusted to me may look completely different - or it may look real similar. walk with me, my love.

Oh God You are my God; earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You my flesh faints for You as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon You in the sanctuary beholding Your power and glory. because Your steadfast love is better than life my lips will praise You. So I will bless You as long as I live; in Your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise You with joyful lips, when I remember You upon my bed and meditate on You in the watches of the night, for You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me. but those who seek to destroy my life shall do down and be given over to the sword and jackals...  the king will rejoice in God and all who swear by him will exult for the mouths of liars will be stopped. 

--- He will act on my behalf - You won't just come to my aid, be my comfort and shield but will end and relieve the false actions of others I fight ---

Yesterday - there was a wedge - today there is no wedge but rather splinters, remnants of a weed we are in the process of demolishing, abolishing, but You met honestly with me yesterday to lead me in denying such a zombie any power over me -- 'cause no. I belong to You.

how do i especially need You right now --- in teaching me of the cross and resurrection that those weeds of distrust, pride and sexual immorality may be pulled and put to death. put to death the hindrances that so easily entangle me that I may look, lock my gaze upon Jesus, all He walked through and what the means in my thought life and everyday life - enlighten the eyes of my heart to know what is the hope to which You have called me, the glorious riches of the inheritance and the immeasurable greatness of power toward us who believe.

what is my comfort in my Great High Priest.
What's missing in our walk, my love?
- regular communication - as I make time for skype dates and phone calls with John
- blessings - serving You -> doing things just because I know they bless You
- observation - observing You to learn of Your character, thinking about Your character and using my words to regularly tell You the moment I experience/see that attribute in You
- taking time to recognize how every aspect of my relationship with John is lavished in You and to reflect on what the means at the current time - what there is to learn from it and apply to our relationship
- pure enjoyment - remembering You have given me all these things to enjoy

I need You to help me, strengthen me, to daily remember your love, power, affections, aid, provisions, toward me - to remind me of what Christ has done for me,

I want to thank You, for gifting me with a loving relationship here on earth and with a man so respectful, honorable - a man I have great respect for and a man who I think so fondly of. Who can be my best friend and my lover. my counsel and my comfort. my big strong arms and my gentle love. my protector and my greatest fan. my partner in crime and deepest encouragement. my dearest companion and my greatest adventure. my most mysterious journey and my homiest home. my nurturing caretaker and my challenging coach. he lifts me up like I never knew I could be and then tells me I'm all that and more for him. Your name is written all over our relationship and I know You're actively transcending every speck of air between us - because every day it seems I only find myself drawn deeper into You; like a vortex, whirlpool or tornado --- being with him means being drawn into You. and that's the greatest gift I could ever ask for. thank You for drawing me to Yourself my love and thank You for doing it in a way that is absolutely lavished in and dripping blessings upon blessing of love and joy and life.

LT Log

Saturday... 8 June

travel day, 
no fear, level head, present, specific prayers answered (arrived on time, little earlier)

Sunday... 9 June
9 AM beach, comical intro, broke into groups and played relay, theme: "Story"
10:30 AM -12 PM Reflection, prayer, quiet time
12-2 PM lunch/bonding time with housemates
2-4 PM welcome/informational session
5-6 PM dinner at the grassy knoll w/ LTers
6-7 PM Driftwood Diaries: gathered on beach, nailed our past stories to the cross
7-8:30 PM Ultimate on the beach!

Monday... 10 June

9:30 AM orientation w/ Dani, drug testing, paperwork, etc., met manager, Helen
12:20-12:45 PM Lunch Break
1-5 PM TIPS class
7-9 PM Session 1: Parable of the Soils
10 PM Skype JD, quick House Meeting
12 AM Lights out

Tuesday... 11 June

9 AM arrive @ Sheraton, tour of Sheraton with ?Steve?
toured kitchen, hotel, saw rooms, went over lunch menu, tasted some lunch options, coworkers from Turkey arrived, 
12:20 PM Dismissed

Wednesday... 12 June

7:00 AM Wake up call on the beach with John David
7:40 AM Genesis 1-3 on the beach
8:00 AM Eggs, pack lunch

9 AM meet at grassy knoll for Project Day #1
9:20-10:00 AM Meet with Jesus on the beach
10 - 11:30 AM Partner prayer, walked down a street and prayed for people we passed 

--- she has more than half her life already behind her--- Spirit may have us speaking the very words that the person currently needs, how often does someone pray for us and we never know it? when things go well for us may we ask God to bless those who pray for us, not just thank God for things going any certain way, 

11:30 AM Return to Condo, log experience, discuss experiences with housemates
12 PM Lunch 
2 PM Meet at Grace, talk about evangelizing
4:30 - 6 PM walk around and try to talk with people

goal was to have some engaging conversations with people 

6 - 8 PM Dinner with Life Group

Wednesday Night Prep

- Replace nose ring with clear stud
- Clean up nails (clip and file)
- Study Lunch Menu
- Study Table Numbers

Thursday... 13 June

5 AM Arrive at Sheraton to prepare/learn to serve breakfast
-- Test on lunch menu and table numbers
-- remember to check work schedule
11 AM Off work, 
Shopped, bought black pants and shoes for work 

7 PM Session 2: Acquiring Wisdom

Thursday Night Prep:

- Study Breakfast Menu
- Study 

Friday... 14 June

11:30 AM Study Breakfast Menu, 
12:30 PM Pamper time! Finally shaved, and really cleaned myself up
2 PM Arrive at Sheraton to prepare/learn to serve dinner
-- test on lunch menu

Saturday... 15 June

8-10 AM Shadowed, helped serve breakfast, test on Dinner Menu, opened Cabanas, 

3 Days of Server Training complete. Tomorrow I take the Chef's Test - need at least a 90% in order to be on the floor. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting to be studying and memorizing things