i forget how terribly i need to create. create sentences from thoughts. poems from emotions. movement from sensation. create moments. of laughter of questions of seeking of following curiosity of doing the very last thing i would do...
the very last thing i would do right now... go eat a bowl of cereal, call mamaw, chat with mckenna, charge my computer, organize my closet for a few minutes, print my homework, ask evan how he's studying for 220, pull out my Bible and write 1 Thes 4 out to memorize it, lay on the floor visualizing how i will proceed/how the rest of the night will go...
huh, that's a practice i haven't done much of at all lately. positive visualization, imagining and running through real life situations (upcoming) in my head and imagine them going as positive as possible or at least how i may walk through them in a positive manner.
when i allow myself to stay in my head, or even in one subject for too long, i seem to let go of whatever that thing is that typically fuels my interest, ambition, curiosity, energy, mental sunshine... it's like a part of me dies, or at leasts slips into a coma, it's like if i squint my eyes i can faintly see it trapped behind a sheet of dark slate
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