The worst and best of gifts, I'll be leaving on your birthday. Worst being the "on your birthday" part... the best being all that comes after my "leaving."
While I wish I had one more day here to celebrate with you, I also trust in the good that is to come for us, both as individuals and as a couple. So, maybe the "on your birthday" isn't the worst... it's a gift that will keep on giving. Through adventures and challenges, we'll grow. Each with Him, in ourselves, and together (not to mention with the people around us).
I know the time will pass by quickly, but I want to take hold of each moment. To see each week as boiling with opportunities. Simple, mundane, everyday things that suddenly become powerful when we are empowered by His presence. Just in sharing everyday life with you I have grown to be more aware of these moments, these opportunities to bless another. Thank you for handling relationships so diligently and thoughtfully. I think that's one of those top traits for which I respect you, yeah that is one of the first things that comes to mind if I had to describe you.
I feel so privileged to have you near in my life. And not just because you absolutely spoil me with affections, which you do.. Or because of how you make me feel like I'm the most precious and beautiful creature you've ever laid eyes on, which you also do. But even more, because of how tightly you hold fast to His Words, and seek His guidance and wisdom in each and every endeavor that makes up your life. I count myself truly privileged to share journeys with such a respectable young man.
As you said, it's going to be a grreat summer. It's mind boggling to think He already knows every thought, situation, fear, hope, insecurity, expectation, and challenge we'll face in the next two months.. but it may be my greatest comfort. Thank you for reminding me of these things the other day. And thank you for reminding me that He has a much greater adventure in store for me, for us both, than I could ever try to think up or venture myself.
All this to in some way say, happy birthday my dearest. May it be a celebration of the life He has made for you and is making in you. And may it be just some outright celebration! (; He has, is and will continue to use you in magnificent ways - all shinning light on who He is, and many of which you will never even know about. So rest in Him this weekend. Oh! And enjoy the company of those you love who are coming to see you!
Love, Jesse Rachelle
Friday, June 7, 2013
the send off!
Tomorrow morning, around 6 AM, I will be on the road again! But this time is different. I won't be traveling for a couple of hours to explore and return before the work week. No sir. This time, I won't be stopping 'til I hit the east coast. Virginia Beach. And once I'm there, I'll call it my home base for the summer.
As departure day came closer, I began to notice this... feeling.. I had. Not quite sad, not quite bubbly, not quite easy to describe.
Following are some of my thoughts as I sat to write through what I was experiencing that I may acknowledge it for whatever it is.
prayers of thanksgiving, and honest conversation with the Author and Perfecter of our story and our Great High Priest who understands our every thought and situation.
prayers of endurance, breath, strength, wisdom, and guidance. prayers of crying out on another's behalf. prayers of pain we have felt for another. prayers of surrender, surrendering burdens that our not ours to carry and lives that are truly only bestowed to us as stewards.
i want to learn what it is to be ever gazing upon the face of this Good I call Jesus. I want to know what that name means, Jesus. i want to learn more of what it is He did.. that i may see and know what it is He does, is doing, and will do. I want to know who He is that I may see and know Him in moments unfolding... see Him as each moment unfolds that His Spirit with me may remind me of what He has done and how that alters the current and upcoming moment.
As departure day came closer, I began to notice this... feeling.. I had. Not quite sad, not quite bubbly, not quite easy to describe.
Following are some of my thoughts as I sat to write through what I was experiencing that I may acknowledge it for whatever it is.
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Thursday, 6 June 2013
I am not terribly saddened by leaving. Nor am I bitter toward the separation to come. I am simply recognizing and grieving the close of what has been a wonderful month. A wonderful time of adventures, laughter, visits, friendship, road trips, childish fun, future talk, preparation and relaxation. Lord, You have built me up, warmed my heart and overjoyed me with a lavishing love beyond my capacity to grasp. You have surrounded me with a cloud of supportive voices and reaffirmed the growth that is to come. I am more and more convinced of Your detailed handle on my life each day it seems. Thank You.
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Friday, 7 June 2013
i can hardly explain to you how wonderful you have been to me. how meaningful this past month has been to me. and how dearly i'll hold it in my heart. ..not the actual month, the dates, or detailed memories... but the concepts, ideas, emotions, affirmations, challenges, lessons, promises, claims, and prayers...prayers of thanksgiving, and honest conversation with the Author and Perfecter of our story and our Great High Priest who understands our every thought and situation.
prayers of endurance, breath, strength, wisdom, and guidance. prayers of crying out on another's behalf. prayers of pain we have felt for another. prayers of surrender, surrendering burdens that our not ours to carry and lives that are truly only bestowed to us as stewards.
i want to learn what it is to be ever gazing upon the face of this Good I call Jesus. I want to know what that name means, Jesus. i want to learn more of what it is He did.. that i may see and know what it is He does, is doing, and will do. I want to know who He is that I may see and know Him in moments unfolding... see Him as each moment unfolds that His Spirit with me may remind me of what He has done and how that alters the current and upcoming moment.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Monday, May 13, 2013
Thursday, May 9, 2013
in prayer...
raising LT support
preparing for LT --> physical, mental, spiritual
seeking help, meeting with Messner
move forward with study abroad plans
be diligent in
keeping anxieties in His hands
transitioning well
maintaining steady mental state
maintaining perspective
practicing what I know; lighten up & live it
making the effort and priority to see Wes, Rachel, Sarah and Sarah
preparing for LT --> physical, mental, spiritual
seeking help, meeting with Messner
move forward with study abroad plans
be diligent in
keeping anxieties in His hands
transitioning well
maintaining steady mental state
maintaining perspective
practicing what I know; lighten up & live it
making the effort and priority to see Wes, Rachel, Sarah and Sarah
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
decompress.
decompress. unwind. untangle. free. unravel. unwrap. loosen. separate. make plain. smooth out. decipher. disengage. extricate. resolve. unlace. unknot.
unfold. be made known. evolve. materialize. form. realize. produce.
open or fan out. be displayed. develop. flow. level. open. paint. prepare. proliferate. radiate. settle. stretch. release. uncrease. shake out. uncoil.
breathe easy. catch one's breath. collect oneself. settle back. take a load off. take ten. be or feel at ease. ease off. simmer down. soften. repose. take one's time. tranquilize. breathe. dream. lean. idle. slack. take life easy. at anchor. at one's ease. at rest. becalmed. deliberate. fixed. immovable. quiet. slow. still. undisturbed. unmoved. unstrained. untraveled.
extricate: relieve of responsibility, detach, disentangle, free, liberate, loosen, release, resolve, separate. make a distinction, discover. bring to light, delve, expose, root, uncover.
proliferate: grow, develop, diversify, expand, boost, build up, enhance, intensify, progress, raise, reinforce, rise, strengthen, flourish.
repose: restfulness, ease, peace, quiet, quietude, renewal, restoration. voluntary action: Sabbath, rest and be thankful, rest upon one's oars, unstrained, composure, peace of mind restraint, serenity, stillness, patience, placidity.
unfold. be made known. evolve. materialize. form. realize. produce.
open or fan out. be displayed. develop. flow. level. open. paint. prepare. proliferate. radiate. settle. stretch. release. uncrease. shake out. uncoil.
breathe easy. catch one's breath. collect oneself. settle back. take a load off. take ten. be or feel at ease. ease off. simmer down. soften. repose. take one's time. tranquilize. breathe. dream. lean. idle. slack. take life easy. at anchor. at one's ease. at rest. becalmed. deliberate. fixed. immovable. quiet. slow. still. undisturbed. unmoved. unstrained. untraveled.
extricate: relieve of responsibility, detach, disentangle, free, liberate, loosen, release, resolve, separate. make a distinction, discover. bring to light, delve, expose, root, uncover.
proliferate: grow, develop, diversify, expand, boost, build up, enhance, intensify, progress, raise, reinforce, rise, strengthen, flourish.
repose: restfulness, ease, peace, quiet, quietude, renewal, restoration. voluntary action: Sabbath, rest and be thankful, rest upon one's oars, unstrained, composure, peace of mind restraint, serenity, stillness, patience, placidity.
the thought of having Him in the yoke, because of who He is, causes an internal weightlessness
28 “Come to Me, all [a]who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is [b]easy and My burden is light.”
sitting on a log, dangling above a rocky stream.. water trickling, never ending.
you said the words you said you want to make me your wife one day
the next day, sitting above the waterfall, you asked.. so how did we get here? how did we move from 'no kissing', to kissing, engaged and making out next to a waterfall?
i responded by saying something about how i was already emotionally there... that it felt almost wrong, unnatural how much we had to fight to not show our affections physically... which makes sense, we're made to work that way - our outward actions show where we are internally...
you know -- we have gotten to talk a lot.. so we have been talking a lot.. a lot. a couple hours almost every day.
you said the words you said you want to make me your wife one day
the next day, sitting above the waterfall, you asked.. so how did we get here? how did we move from 'no kissing', to kissing, engaged and making out next to a waterfall?
i responded by saying something about how i was already emotionally there... that it felt almost wrong, unnatural how much we had to fight to not show our affections physically... which makes sense, we're made to work that way - our outward actions show where we are internally...
you know -- we have gotten to talk a lot.. so we have been talking a lot.. a lot. a couple hours almost every day.
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