My Dear,
Can you believe how far we've come! What a journey we are on. And i know we have quite the journey ahead of us, but I am only becoming more sure of our love. All this thanks to His great love. Oh how He washes over us. How He sets Himself the wind to our sails. He says love conquers all. Though I know little of this mighty love, I am certain that in learning to love you every day, He will teach me of this great love. I am sure learning to walk with you each day will lead me further in toward ongoing communion with Him. -- and what better is there in life than experiencing the Living God on a daily basis?
Though gravity, weight, and breadth of unknowns may frighten me - none will compare to the depth, width, length, breadth, or vastness of the Great Love I am sure to further experience.
Lord, I am certain, if nothing else, You will have Your way with my heart. Your way will be edifying, sanctifying, glorifying to Your Name. And besides that, I am to walk on, eyes on You, my Great High Priest, Lover of my soul. be near. my soul clings to You, Your right hand upholds me.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
weekend blessings..
had a few really sweet moments this past weekend.
sitting at Starbucks, we were studying and an older married couple joined us at the table. they struck up a conversation and we explained how I went to BSU, he was just here to see me. they asked how long we had been together and they seemed so happy for us. they gave us a couple tidbits of advice, 1. never stop holding hands 2. communication is key. funny thing, John David and I had just been talking about how so many couples give the advice to keep holding hands and making that physical connection. so that was a neat triple affirmation. then, when we went to leave, the husband slid a gift card envelope across the table and said, "just put it in a pocket, and only use it when you're together." then something along the lines of 'we wish you only the best. keep up the good work'
later that night, we were walking to the Village and an old lady asked for help from her car. she needed help turning her lights on. so we went over and figured out how to turn her lights on for her. she was very grateful.
then, we walked around, dance outside the Be Here Now fence, then walked back to campus, played music on our phones and danced around the sidewalk.
Sunday, we went to the Revo, then we spent the rest of our day with Cameron and Kristina. they really seemed to have a great time, as did we. i was so glad to have finally connected with them and was so happy to just hang out with them and do something fun all together.
sitting at Starbucks, we were studying and an older married couple joined us at the table. they struck up a conversation and we explained how I went to BSU, he was just here to see me. they asked how long we had been together and they seemed so happy for us. they gave us a couple tidbits of advice, 1. never stop holding hands 2. communication is key. funny thing, John David and I had just been talking about how so many couples give the advice to keep holding hands and making that physical connection. so that was a neat triple affirmation. then, when we went to leave, the husband slid a gift card envelope across the table and said, "just put it in a pocket, and only use it when you're together." then something along the lines of 'we wish you only the best. keep up the good work'
later that night, we were walking to the Village and an old lady asked for help from her car. she needed help turning her lights on. so we went over and figured out how to turn her lights on for her. she was very grateful.
then, we walked around, dance outside the Be Here Now fence, then walked back to campus, played music on our phones and danced around the sidewalk.
Sunday, we went to the Revo, then we spent the rest of our day with Cameron and Kristina. they really seemed to have a great time, as did we. i was so glad to have finally connected with them and was so happy to just hang out with them and do something fun all together.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Real Life Thoughts of Wednesday.
I had many thoughts swirling about my mind, here is a raw (and really rough) display of me laying out the thoughts I was trying to make sense of...
Now, please realize that I do not claim any of these ideas or understandings to be right, logical or biblical. In all honesty, I recognize some of the thoughts to be in desperate need of Truth... that's part of why I wrote them out. I wanted to discover what it is I was really thinking, to then target what Truth I need to dive into in order to take those thoughts captive to Christ. Also, some are thoughts on how the Body is to be lived out in a community - that is another area that I am continuing to seek His ways through prayer and Scripture.
So there. Here's me, real vulnerable. Please be gentle with me.
'Cause, oh! to Grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be.
Jesus went from people to people. He had His twelve. Then He went from group to group using His gifts to build up the Body.
is there something inherently wrong with my tendency of investing and building up, collecting a circle or team, then building into the next group?
full time ministry isn't for everyone... YES, we are all to be disciplers as well as discipled. but does that mean we must fit into today's image of find a church, invest all your time and ministry into that one sect of the Body, and move up the chain of leadership until you are in full time ministry?
i really don't think it does. granted, i do see building into the Body around me as very important, tho i still struggle to see the "Body" to be the actual church body that is near me... is that so wrong? I see the body as this intangible, widespread, collection of vessels of the Holy Spirit, not a specific group of people that go to a certain church every week...
granted, i do see the importance of how the Body needs each body part to be using its function to build up the Body, the literal physical church so that its ministry can continue and can flourish... just as our generation needs true saints to stand up for His Name and be ambassadors in order to reveal the falseness of false teachers...
i recognize in myself the tendency to bounce around, to invest in one place for a while, then to latch on to a new place and pour in to the people there... i get around when it comes to embracing and being a part of many different groups of people... along the way i keep a few who enter my circle or at least i keep pouring into and encouraging... but besides my inner circle, people come and people grow, and people move forward...
i've discovered myself to be someone to try and ignite the potential i see in people... and there are some for whom i continually pour into and speak with and love on... then there are some that just walk right out of my days...
i don't recognize myself as an important part of the group... and they may not call me out and invite me to things because they get the vibe that i don't want to be there... them not inviting me then makes me feel as even more an outsider...
-----
so, ok. priorities.
schoolwork.
family. keeping in contact with my mom and chatting with my dad. family reunion
How has my time been spent these past few weeks?
Weekdays:
classes
schoolwork
lunch/chat time with Alison 2x week
chill/chat time with McKenna 2-5 hrs a week
10-11 AM MWF is quiet Scripture, journal, Celebration of Discipline time,
House church 7-10:30 PM
MWF lunch with Maddy, Nate, and random Revo ppl when our lunch times overlap
Weekends:
18th Revo
23-25th yearly tradition, bonfire with Cedarville friends. church at Xenia.
31-1st family reunion, then Revo.
6th-8th anniversary dinner, frisbee tournament with Cedarville friends, church at Xenia, picnic
13-15th this coming Friday is LT Reunion, Saturday with McKenna? then Sunday church and zoo with Cameron and Kristina and scheduling couples meetings.
20-22nd then the next weekend, Friday is cousin's play, then cousin's wedding,
27-29th next weekend is family weekend, seeing Ma & Pa?!
Where are my priorities?
academics
relationship with Christ
being there for the ladies around me
weekends, have been every other
- we're both trying to invest in the communities we're in
Talk with Megan................
wants to make sure i'm not focusing too much on the future and on the engagement that i neglect the process and individual growth that is still in-process...
focus on the process more: she noticed that I seem to cast a vision then run full fledge for that goal (which is absolutely characteristic of me), she wants to make sure that I take my time, walk through the process, be where I am, and am not consumed with thinking about the future.
has seen couples go thru things similar to us, granted she said they prob didn't have as strong a relationship and weren't as spiritually inclined, but she has seen them rush into marriage and then in the first few years realize they made things harder and then have a lot of pains... she said she wasn't as wary or thoughtful during their process and so basically wants to be a better friend and give perspective that she has learned...
it's about weighing the options, which better sets you up for success. (when i told her of our two possibilities, marry in a year or be separated for two years, she sounded empathetic and 'ohh between a rock and a hard place')
Megan also offered, how can she help? be thinking about that. she is the only friend that rather than just giving her two cents then hoping it goes well, she offered to step out of the kitchen, where you already have too many cooks, and to help you however you need help.
Now, please realize that I do not claim any of these ideas or understandings to be right, logical or biblical. In all honesty, I recognize some of the thoughts to be in desperate need of Truth... that's part of why I wrote them out. I wanted to discover what it is I was really thinking, to then target what Truth I need to dive into in order to take those thoughts captive to Christ. Also, some are thoughts on how the Body is to be lived out in a community - that is another area that I am continuing to seek His ways through prayer and Scripture.
So there. Here's me, real vulnerable. Please be gentle with me.
'Cause, oh! to Grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
is there something inherently wrong with my tendency of investing and building up, collecting a circle or team, then building into the next group?
full time ministry isn't for everyone... YES, we are all to be disciplers as well as discipled. but does that mean we must fit into today's image of find a church, invest all your time and ministry into that one sect of the Body, and move up the chain of leadership until you are in full time ministry?
i really don't think it does. granted, i do see building into the Body around me as very important, tho i still struggle to see the "Body" to be the actual church body that is near me... is that so wrong? I see the body as this intangible, widespread, collection of vessels of the Holy Spirit, not a specific group of people that go to a certain church every week...
granted, i do see the importance of how the Body needs each body part to be using its function to build up the Body, the literal physical church so that its ministry can continue and can flourish... just as our generation needs true saints to stand up for His Name and be ambassadors in order to reveal the falseness of false teachers...
i recognize in myself the tendency to bounce around, to invest in one place for a while, then to latch on to a new place and pour in to the people there... i get around when it comes to embracing and being a part of many different groups of people... along the way i keep a few who enter my circle or at least i keep pouring into and encouraging... but besides my inner circle, people come and people grow, and people move forward...
i've discovered myself to be someone to try and ignite the potential i see in people... and there are some for whom i continually pour into and speak with and love on... then there are some that just walk right out of my days...
i don't recognize myself as an important part of the group... and they may not call me out and invite me to things because they get the vibe that i don't want to be there... them not inviting me then makes me feel as even more an outsider...
-----
so, ok. priorities.
schoolwork.
family. keeping in contact with my mom and chatting with my dad. family reunion
How has my time been spent these past few weeks?
Weekdays:
classes
schoolwork
lunch/chat time with Alison 2x week
chill/chat time with McKenna 2-5 hrs a week
10-11 AM MWF is quiet Scripture, journal, Celebration of Discipline time,
House church 7-10:30 PM
MWF lunch with Maddy, Nate, and random Revo ppl when our lunch times overlap
Weekends:
18th Revo
23-25th yearly tradition, bonfire with Cedarville friends. church at Xenia.
31-1st family reunion, then Revo.
6th-8th anniversary dinner, frisbee tournament with Cedarville friends, church at Xenia, picnic
13-15th this coming Friday is LT Reunion, Saturday with McKenna? then Sunday church and zoo with Cameron and Kristina and scheduling couples meetings.
20-22nd then the next weekend, Friday is cousin's play, then cousin's wedding,
27-29th next weekend is family weekend, seeing Ma & Pa?!
Where are my priorities?
academics
relationship with Christ
being there for the ladies around me
weekends, have been every other
- we're both trying to invest in the communities we're in
Talk with Megan................
wants to make sure i'm not focusing too much on the future and on the engagement that i neglect the process and individual growth that is still in-process...
focus on the process more: she noticed that I seem to cast a vision then run full fledge for that goal (which is absolutely characteristic of me), she wants to make sure that I take my time, walk through the process, be where I am, and am not consumed with thinking about the future.
has seen couples go thru things similar to us, granted she said they prob didn't have as strong a relationship and weren't as spiritually inclined, but she has seen them rush into marriage and then in the first few years realize they made things harder and then have a lot of pains... she said she wasn't as wary or thoughtful during their process and so basically wants to be a better friend and give perspective that she has learned...
it's about weighing the options, which better sets you up for success. (when i told her of our two possibilities, marry in a year or be separated for two years, she sounded empathetic and 'ohh between a rock and a hard place')
Megan also offered, how can she help? be thinking about that. she is the only friend that rather than just giving her two cents then hoping it goes well, she offered to step out of the kitchen, where you already have too many cooks, and to help you however you need help.
Monday, September 9, 2013
A Note to My Love on Our Anniversary
Happy Anniversary, my dearest friend and love of my life.
I have adored seeing how we each flourish as our love blossoms. I have always counted you a good friend, a wise counsel and a pleasure to be around. I have admired you for the respectful way you carry yourself and for the kindness with which you speak to others.
Now, I am privileged to experience a place of intimacy with you. A place where our worlds don't merely collide but rather collaborate and build each other up.
I'm not sure we realized how special a gift we'd been given. The uniqueness of this gift requires we guard the gift from any scheme of the enemy. For anything a force for our Good King is a threat to him, and a new target for his destructive ways.
Hallelujah our God is the King of writing redemption stories! And hallelujah! He calls us His chosen ones. He will lead us on, my love. He will led us Home. Take courage, He is leading us Home.
I have adored seeing how we each flourish as our love blossoms. I have always counted you a good friend, a wise counsel and a pleasure to be around. I have admired you for the respectful way you carry yourself and for the kindness with which you speak to others.
Now, I am privileged to experience a place of intimacy with you. A place where our worlds don't merely collide but rather collaborate and build each other up.
I'm not sure we realized how special a gift we'd been given. The uniqueness of this gift requires we guard the gift from any scheme of the enemy. For anything a force for our Good King is a threat to him, and a new target for his destructive ways.
Hallelujah our God is the King of writing redemption stories! And hallelujah! He calls us His chosen ones. He will lead us on, my love. He will led us Home. Take courage, He is leading us Home.
Journey on.
...to be continued.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
exactly what i needed..
"Doing countless unnecessary activities will dissipate your energy.
When you spend time with Me, I restore your sense of direction. As you look to Me for guidance, I enable you to do less but accomplish more." -Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
"Commit your works to the Lord, And your thoughts will be established." -Proverbs 16:3 NKJV
"Doing countless unnecessary activities will dissipate your energy.
When you spend time with Me, I restore your sense of direction. As you look to Me for guidance, I enable you to do less but accomplish more." -Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
"Commit your works to the Lord, And your thoughts will be established." -Proverbs 16:3 NKJV
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
a prayer of vision
Heavenly Father, Great High Priest. Creator and Cultivator of Good, Lovely, Excellent, Honorable, designer of all that is worthwhile. In Your goodness You have lavished on us a grace that is greater than the command. Perfect Provider. All mighty Spirit, living, moving, breathing. Breathing life into me. Heighten, deepen, widen, strengthen, our desires for Your desires. Through the time and space that we call today, permeate our awareness, our conscious minds, our thoughts, perceptions, understandings, interactions and intentions.
let us not see our earthly tasks as earthly but as channels through which we manifest our spiritual realities, that is the reality of Your Kingdom. the Kingdom here, now, the Kingdom that is to come, the ongoing and ever present story that permeates all realities, the grandness of the story that has been happening and that we are now a part of and will be a part of. make our minds, hearts, spirits to dwell in Your heavenly places as we walk this weary, demanding, luring land.
let us not see our earthly tasks as earthly but as channels through which we manifest our spiritual realities, that is the reality of Your Kingdom. the Kingdom here, now, the Kingdom that is to come, the ongoing and ever present story that permeates all realities, the grandness of the story that has been happening and that we are now a part of and will be a part of. make our minds, hearts, spirits to dwell in Your heavenly places as we walk this weary, demanding, luring land.
{to be continued...}
James 4
Points that stuck out to me in the reading today...
4:14The problem is what the merchant did not consider: his complete dependence on God (cf.Luke 12:18-20; John 15:5).
“To what extent is your life directed by the knowledge that Christ is coming back? Much of our thinking and behavior is shaped by what we can see of present circumstances or past events. Yet Scripture speaks forcefully of Christ’s return as a fact that should be directing how we live now. Christians are to be motivated by the certainty of this future event.”[193]
This reminds me of a theme this summer... living in the reality of the Kingdom.
4:15The merchant should have made his planning in conscious dependence on God recognizing His sovereign control over all of life (cf. Acts 18:21; 1 Cor. 4:19; 16:7; Phil. 2:19, 24). The Latin phrase, deo volente (“God willing,” abbreviated D.V.) remains in use even today among some Christians.
“A study of the use of this conditional clause [“If the Lord wills . . .”] in the NT makes it clear that we are not to repeat it mechanically in connection with every statement of future plans. Paul, for example, employs it in Acts 18:21 and 1 Corinthians 4:19, but he does not use it in Acts 19:21; Romans 15:28; or 1 Corinthians 16:5, 8. Yet it is obvious that whether Paul explicitly stated it or not, he always conditioned his plans on the will of God.”[194]
It's not about saying the words - it's about acknowledging Him foremost and knowing (acting out of the certainty) that God is the One who will be sustaining me and making my future and I am to submit Him in all ways for I know that is what's best (and commanded) - if I choose not to, I am willingly walking in sin.
The person James just pictured was guilty of a sin of omission. He failed to acknowledge the place God occupies in life (cf. John 9:41). In concluding this discussion of conflicts, James reminded his readers to put into practice what they knew. They should avoid presumption and self-confidence, and they should submit themselves humbly to God. Failure to do this is sin.
“They cannot take refuge in the plea that they have done nothing positively wrong; as Scripture makes abundantly clear, sins of omission are as real and serious as sins of commission.”[196]
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
1 John 1
"5 This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; 7 but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. "
Thoughts:
to walk in the Light is to confess, restore, reconcile, walk in fellowship with one another, believing the reality of His forgiveness and cleansing power... it's not to BE perfect, but to WALK (set your steps in line with/toward, live out, look to and seek) in/toward/according to/by the power of the Light...
Thoughts:
to walk in the Light is to confess, restore, reconcile, walk in fellowship with one another, believing the reality of His forgiveness and cleansing power... it's not to BE perfect, but to WALK (set your steps in line with/toward, live out, look to and seek) in/toward/according to/by the power of the Light...
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
meet my Mr. Wonderful.
All photos thanks to M. Renee Photography!
Meet John David Paff. He's my bud, to say the least. While in VB we had a mini-session with a wonderful photographer and dear friend, Megan Didier. Megan was able to capture some of my favorite aspects of our relationship.
...Laughter, smiles, childish goofiness, caring for each other, walking with each other, talking, building each other up, him looking at me with admiring eyes and making me feel like the most beautiful creature he has ever laid eyes on...
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