“My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.” – Albert Einstein

....what does this mean?

exactly what i needed..

"Doing countless unnecessary activities will dissipate your energy.
When you spend time with Me, I restore your sense of direction. As you look to Me for guidance, I enable you to do less but accomplish more." -Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

"Commit your works to the Lord, And your thoughts will be established." -Proverbs 16:3 NKJV

a prayer of vision

Heavenly Father, Great High Priest. Creator and Cultivator of Good, Lovely, Excellent, Honorable, designer of all that is worthwhile. In Your goodness You have lavished on us a grace that is greater than the command. Perfect Provider. All mighty Spirit, living, moving, breathing. Breathing life into me. Heighten, deepen, widen, strengthen, our desires for Your desires. Through the time and space that we call today, permeate our awareness, our conscious minds, our thoughts, perceptions, understandings, interactions and intentions. 

let us not see our earthly tasks as earthly but as channels through which we manifest our spiritual realities, that is the reality of Your Kingdom. the Kingdom here, now, the Kingdom that is to come, the ongoing and ever present story that permeates all realities, the grandness of the story that has been happening and that we are now a part of and will be a part of. make our minds, hearts, spirits to dwell in Your heavenly places as we walk this weary, demanding, luring land.  

{to be continued...}

James 4

Points that stuck out to me in the reading today... 

4:14The problem is what the merchant did not consider: his complete dependence on God (cf.Luke 12:18-20; John 15:5).
“To what extent is your life directed by the knowledge that Christ is coming back? Much of our thinking and behavior is shaped by what we can see of present circumstances or past events. Yet Scripture speaks forcefully of Christ’s return as a fact that should be directing how we live now. Christians are to be motivated by the certainty of this future event.”[193]

This reminds me of a theme this summer... living in the reality of the Kingdom. 

4:15The merchant should have made his planning in conscious dependence on God recognizing His sovereign control over all of life (cf. Acts 18:21; 1 Cor. 4:19; 16:7; Phil. 2:19, 24). The Latin phrase, deo volente (“God willing,” abbreviated D.V.) remains in use even today among some Christians.
“A study of the use of this conditional clause [“If the Lord wills . . .”] in the NT makes it clear that we are not to repeat it mechanically in connection with every statement of future plans. Paul, for example, employs it in Acts 18:21 and 1 Corinthians 4:19, but he does not use it in Acts 19:21; Romans 15:28; or 1 Corinthians 16:5, 8. Yet it is obvious that whether Paul explicitly stated it or not, he always conditioned his plans on the will of God.”[194]

It's not about saying the words - it's about acknowledging Him foremost and knowing (acting out of the certainty) that God is the One who will be sustaining me and making my future and I am to submit Him in all ways for I know that is what's best (and commanded) - if I choose not to, I am willingly walking in sin. 

The person James just pictured was guilty of a sin of omission. He failed to acknowledge the place God occupies in life (cf. John 9:41). In concluding this discussion of conflicts, James reminded his readers to put into practice what they knew. They should avoid presumption and self-confidence, and they should submit themselves humbly to God. Failure to do this is sin.
“They cannot take refuge in the plea that they have done nothing positively wrong; as Scripture makes abundantly clear, sins of omission are as real and serious as sins of commission.”[196]

1 John 1

^"5 This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. ⁶ If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; ⁷ but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. ⁸ If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. ⁹ If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. "

Thoughts:
to walk in the Light is to confess, restore, reconcile, walk in fellowship with one another, believing the reality of His forgiveness and cleansing power... it's not to BE perfect, but to WALK (set your steps in line with/toward, live out, look to and seek) in/toward/according to/by the power of the Light... 

meet my Mr. Wonderful.

All photos thanks to M. Renee Photography! 

Meet John David Paff. He's my bud, to say the least. While in VB we had a mini-session with a wonderful photographer and dear friend, Megan Didier. Megan was able to capture some of my favorite aspects of our relationship. 

...Laughter, smiles, childish goofiness, caring for each other, walking with each other, talking, building each other up, him looking at me with admiring eyes and making me feel like the most beautiful creature he has ever laid eyes on... 

Project Day #3

- - - 2 Hour quiet time, alone with Him. - - - 

sweet Jesus Christ my sanity
sweet Jesus Christ my clarity
bread of heaven broken for me
cup of salvation poured out for me
Jesus mystery
Christ has died and
Christ is risen
Christ will come again

Spirit living and active - moving as oft' and even stronger than the pulse of the sea this is the power that lives with me. hands open El Shaddai ready to provide, to hand me all I need all that's necessary all that's best for me today. may I stretch out my hand Savior, Healer, Good Shepherd give me ears to hear and a heart to receive Your Words, Your goodness, Your will...

Driftwood Diaries... told the story of Fireproof and Love Dare, then told of how it was even more a story of our relationship with You Christ, than between a man and a woman -- all the effort, diligence, service, acts of kindness I think I ought to be devoting to John David - I can also apply directly to You --- to see all aspects of my relationship with John David as visual aids and manifestations, teaching tools meant to teach me of You and us and our love, the love exclusively between You and me not just between us three...

here I am Lord to accept the challenge and meet with You here as I would with John David. I want to tell You all these things I see You doing I want to tell You my hopes and dreams. I want to let You calm me and give me breath and tell me how I'll always be Yours, belong to You and how You won't let anyone ever change that.

I want to hear You say You want me, I am necessary, beneficial, helper, beautiful that I am an asset to You and Your Body that I make Your heart happy and smile that You look at me with those loving eyes and are enthralled by my beauty... I want to hear that I bless You, that You are so glad I'm Yours. that You will protect me, that Your heart aches to hold me and be the cause, the source of my joy, my smile, my laughter, any comfort, or pleasure be the fount from which all my fountains flow. be the love of my life I can't go a day without speaking to or hearing from. be the love I seek to find my home and rest in.

I remember a time -- that summer I spent reading Captivating -- I remember falling in love with You just as I have come to loving John David. I felt You romancing me, meeting with me, whispering sweet things into my ear, - You would meet me each day in the thing I was going thru, predominately thinking about, feeling or doing. You would do, everyday life with me. I realize I speak as if You no longer do those things --- but You're still here, available and doing those things but just as I see in human marriage ---> as time moves on, we must find a new way to interact - we don't move backwards I don't stay the same -- our interactions change as we progress in the journey. You may still do similar things - but the way in which You meet me and what is required of me and entrusted to me may look completely different - or it may look real similar. walk with me, my love.

Oh God You are my God; earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You my flesh faints for You as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon You in the sanctuary beholding Your power and glory. because Your steadfast love is better than life my lips will praise You. So I will bless You as long as I live; in Your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise You with joyful lips, when I remember You upon my bed and meditate on You in the watches of the night, for You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me. but those who seek to destroy my life shall do down and be given over to the sword and jackals...  the king will rejoice in God and all who swear by him will exult for the mouths of liars will be stopped. 

--- He will act on my behalf - You won't just come to my aid, be my comfort and shield but will end and relieve the false actions of others I fight ---

Yesterday - there was a wedge - today there is no wedge but rather splinters, remnants of a weed we are in the process of demolishing, abolishing, but You met honestly with me yesterday to lead me in denying such a zombie any power over me -- 'cause no. I belong to You.

how do i especially need You right now --- in teaching me of the cross and resurrection that those weeds of distrust, pride and sexual immorality may be pulled and put to death. put to death the hindrances that so easily entangle me that I may look, lock my gaze upon Jesus, all He walked through and what the means in my thought life and everyday life - enlighten the eyes of my heart to know what is the hope to which You have called me, the glorious riches of the inheritance and the immeasurable greatness of power toward us who believe.

what is my comfort in my Great High Priest.
What's missing in our walk, my love?
- regular communication - as I make time for skype dates and phone calls with John
- blessings - serving You -> doing things just because I know they bless You
- observation - observing You to learn of Your character, thinking about Your character and using my words to regularly tell You the moment I experience/see that attribute in You
- taking time to recognize how every aspect of my relationship with John is lavished in You and to reflect on what the means at the current time - what there is to learn from it and apply to our relationship
- pure enjoyment - remembering You have given me all these things to enjoy

I need You to help me, strengthen me, to daily remember your love, power, affections, aid, provisions, toward me - to remind me of what Christ has done for me,

I want to thank You, for gifting me with a loving relationship here on earth and with a man so respectful, honorable - a man I have great respect for and a man who I think so fondly of. Who can be my best friend and my lover. my counsel and my comfort. my big strong arms and my gentle love. my protector and my greatest fan. my partner in crime and deepest encouragement. my dearest companion and my greatest adventure. my most mysterious journey and my homiest home. my nurturing caretaker and my challenging coach. he lifts me up like I never knew I could be and then tells me I'm all that and more for him. Your name is written all over our relationship and I know You're actively transcending every speck of air between us - because every day it seems I only find myself drawn deeper into You; like a vortex, whirlpool or tornado --- being with him means being drawn into You. and that's the greatest gift I could ever ask for. thank You for drawing me to Yourself my love and thank You for doing it in a way that is absolutely lavished in and dripping blessings upon blessing of love and joy and life.

LT Log

Saturday... 8 June

travel day, 
no fear, level head, present, specific prayers answered (arrived on time, little earlier)

Sunday... 9 June
9 AM beach, comical intro, broke into groups and played relay, theme: "Story"
10:30 AM -12 PM Reflection, prayer, quiet time
12-2 PM lunch/bonding time with housemates
2-4 PM welcome/informational session
5-6 PM dinner at the grassy knoll w/ LTers
6-7 PM Driftwood Diaries: gathered on beach, nailed our past stories to the cross
7-8:30 PM Ultimate on the beach!

Monday... 10 June

9:30 AM orientation w/ Dani, drug testing, paperwork, etc., met manager, Helen
12:20-12:45 PM Lunch Break
1-5 PM TIPS class
7-9 PM Session 1: Parable of the Soils
10 PM Skype JD, quick House Meeting
12 AM Lights out

Tuesday... 11 June

9 AM arrive @ Sheraton, tour of Sheraton with ?Steve?
toured kitchen, hotel, saw rooms, went over lunch menu, tasted some lunch options, coworkers from Turkey arrived, 
12:20 PM Dismissed

Wednesday... 12 June

7:00 AM Wake up call on the beach with John David
7:40 AM Genesis 1-3 on the beach
8:00 AM Eggs, pack lunch

9 AM meet at grassy knoll for Project Day #1
9:20-10:00 AM Meet with Jesus on the beach
10 - 11:30 AM Partner prayer, walked down a street and prayed for people we passed 

--- she has more than half her life already behind her--- Spirit may have us speaking the very words that the person currently needs, how often does someone pray for us and we never know it? when things go well for us may we ask God to bless those who pray for us, not just thank God for things going any certain way, 

11:30 AM Return to Condo, log experience, discuss experiences with housemates
12 PM Lunch 
2 PM Meet at Grace, talk about evangelizing
4:30 - 6 PM walk around and try to talk with people

goal was to have some engaging conversations with people 

6 - 8 PM Dinner with Life Group

Wednesday Night Prep

- Replace nose ring with clear stud
- Clean up nails (clip and file)
- Study Lunch Menu
- Study Table Numbers

Thursday... 13 June

5 AM Arrive at Sheraton to prepare/learn to serve breakfast
-- Test on lunch menu and table numbers
-- remember to check work schedule
11 AM Off work, 
Shopped, bought black pants and shoes for work 

7 PM Session 2: Acquiring Wisdom

Thursday Night Prep:

- Study Breakfast Menu
- Study 

Friday... 14 June

11:30 AM Study Breakfast Menu, 
12:30 PM Pamper time! Finally shaved, and really cleaned myself up
2 PM Arrive at Sheraton to prepare/learn to serve dinner
-- test on lunch menu

Saturday... 15 June

8-10 AM Shadowed, helped serve breakfast, test on Dinner Menu, opened Cabanas, 

3 Days of Server Training complete. Tomorrow I take the Chef's Test - need at least a 90% in order to be on the floor. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting to be studying and memorizing things 

going off of the voicemail i left you... today, people were telling me that i looked especially pretty. and i became aware of this odd phenomena that went on within me each time someone said that... it was as if you were there with me, in me, in spirit i guess.. like i was a flower that had been so attentively nurtured and was getting to hear the praise that you have always been telling me, and i in part know i can accredit the loveliness they see to the love you lavish on me.

i guess.. our relationship so often seems too good to be true to me, and i dont see how God could ever let me actually have you for the rest of my life or even for the next few years,  i dont like having you but not getting to be there and enjoy God's gift.. i guess sometimes I'm scared that i want it so much that it's going to be taken away, cause He never had to give me such an amazing gift in the first place, but i dont want to ever have to live without you.