grounding thoughts for a busy night

here, in silence. at the bidding of no one known. 

here, i have time, i have space, i have the place to be here with You alone. 

only You know where I am, our little secret. 

though i be in no place of significance, Our aloneness is significant.

i have so much to share with You. words of friends, stories, feelings, & messages stirring in my inner parts. 

i could depart now, move my attention to tasks and responsibilities i am carrying

but those doings would be of no use if not first and foremost established in Your breath. 

Lord, I know Fajah said I'm a "productivity addict," and to that I guess there is some sense.

but tonight let this heart be driven not merely by desire for productivity, perfection, or praise but rather by desire for honoring You, my professors, my peers, and the future you have in store for me. these tasks are not for the future, but the inner workings beneath them You use to mold and move me: to make me more and more like the man of Christ. You use the seen to alter the unseen. 

Let us remember this beautiful image these next couple of weeks. You are our breath. You are our refuge, but You are also our YHWH who trains us in His ways. 


(Ok, yes I admit it. I get a high from a productive streak just like I would from an adrenaline rush.) And there's some history and depth to why that is so. I've lived many years of my life hoping & praying that I had the potential in me that I thought I did. So, when You finally revealed some of what You made this mind capable of - relinquished so many of my fears and revealed some dreams - of course I get super duper excited!