march 21, 2013
hey, so i don't know if you remember me, that's ok. we used to be in musicals together. don't be creeped out. but i just felt that i had to get this off my chest. so, here goes. i have had this killer crush on you for four years or so now... really ever since i met you. i always felt comfortable with you, able to talk with you about anything. i dont know how or why but i always felt so safe with you it kind of freaked me out because i didn't know why. you brought out the little girl in me and made me feel like i was something special. it was odd, how i gravitated toward you. tad bit frustrating, at times. it was like something inside me just came alive when you walked in the room. i don't know where i'm going with this i guess there has to be a point i'm trying to make. if there is i'd guess it's this - that you are one reallly special guy. and that wherever you are and whatever you're doing... the people around you are pretty dang blessed to have the privilege of living live with you along their side. thank you for such great times. and thank you for your kindness towards me. hoping only the best for you in all your endeavors. sincerely, your high school musical backstage dancing buddy
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I have never been treated as well as the way you treat me. No one has ever responded to me in such love, kindness, gentleness, patience, wisdom, and perspective.
John David Paff, you're making me believe that the beautiful dream I have had of a biblical relationship isn't just me being a dreamer but is in glorious fact, a dream that has the capacity to become alive, having Life breathed into it, become a new life and bloom.
I'm not just a fantasizing dreamer who had a hope for a man that would love her Creator more than he loved her. I prayed a prayer like that a lot.. That God would bring me a man who loved Him more than he loved me. I also prayed that it would be a man who I really look up to, one who I think wise, steady, one who I respect so much I almost hesitate to first approach. B/c he makes me (makes for the most sturdy, nurturing & spurring environment) hold myself to a higher standard. I prayed for a man who I believe in, who I see has a vision, a mission that I believe in and a heart of nobility, honor, and dignity.
April 5ish
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it is very special to me that you know me well enough to recognize the significance of my writing about you and to you. because yes, you have a very special place inside me. and me writing about you doesn't just say that i am thinking about you but that you are a very part of my processing things. your presence, your influence in my life is not merely external. the fruits of this relationship are of the seen and unseen, but my favorite are of the unseen.
April 7
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Sometimes I ask myself how the heck I got this guy to like me... And the only conclusion I've repeatedly come to is that God just decided He was going to make sure I would be cared for in the best possible ways. And so He provided my path cross with a man He has been molding so precisely. He must really really love me - to make a way for me to better love Him and live a life ever pleasing to Him.. & to make a way that is so soaked in joy & loveliness for me to enjoy! He is sweet, tender & affectionate toward me.
April 7ish
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